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Be Prepared For A Stronger America!

If you've seen the site "Ready.gov" It's filled with much mass hysteria, and clever pictures that illustrate what to do in certain emergency situations. To help clarify, here are what some of those illustrations mean:

If you carry this neat new brief case from Samsonite, terrorists won't attack you because they'll think you're with
the Red Cross.

Cover your doors and windows with duct tape, because terrorists are scared of tape.

What does the smell of dead fish
remind you of?

If you bow to the east, toward Mecca, you'll be spared from a
cloud of poison gas.

Don't set your house on fire,
it might burn down.

Don't eat fish when you are being
attacked by terrorists.

If you're hiding from terrorists, Don't crawl under rubble - you'll get dirty.

When listening to techno music at a RAVE, you can either sit on the floor in a puddle, or dance like you're running.

A massage can feel good after dancing really hard at a RAVE - see the lady in the white tent.

Tshirts, blankets, and dust masks are cool things to bring to a RAVE.

When you're at a RAVE watching a light show, gasp in amazement!

This is the first step to learn when learning how to breakdance.

Don't let that red head in the red dress get caught in the door.

These towns are easy to find because they are marked with big red pluses

Is it wiser to spend your money on a nice house or a nice car?

If you're the 10th caller, you could
win a radio or a tv!

Pose like this to make a nice portrait for your family album!

Hey Obi Wan! Check out my light saber!

Listen to the radio at 3, watch the TV at 4, but by 5 you need to finish that report on your laptop and hand it in.

Remember that orange soda goes good with fish.

You don't want to look through the window at ugly people having sex.

What's behind door #1?

Copyright © 2003 by Andy Somers, because apparently I don't have anything better to do with my time than make silly web pages like this one. And the images are probably copyright by the moronic beaurocrats that created them.

This page was inspired by an anonymous email that is reprinted at http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blductandcover.htm

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